How to Play a Player
by Taste.of.life
Summary: AU: This was one game, she wasn't going to loose.
1. Prologue

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. _

_This story, like Fidelity, will be centered around Lily Evans and James Potter and while it is AU, I feel like it is also cannon. If that makes any sense at all. _

_This story shall be long and, like Fidelity, as it matures, the ratings will too. _

_I hope you enjoy. _

* * *

><p>How to Play a Player<p>

AU: This was one game she wasn't going to loose.

Prologue.

She hadn't meant to take it this far. Honestly, she hadn't meant for any of this to happen. They had a plan. Not a very well thought out one, considering they were drunk while creating it, but it had been a decent one. It was just a little bit of fun, mixed with a dash of revenge. But it had gone wrong. Terribly, horribly, wrong.

And now she couldn't stand the sight of herself. She couldn't recognize the girl in the mirror, because that wasn't her. She wasn't this rude, she wasn't this mean and she sure as hell wasn't this heartless.

No, this girl, this cruel and manipulative girl in the mirror, was a stranger. And thinking back on everything, she doesn't understand how it came to this point.

Whatever this point is.

Because even now, when he should hate her, hate the very existence of her, she knows that if she asked for forgiveness, he would readily give it to her.

And that's all she would have to do. How easy it would be, for everything to be forgotten. Just two little words and the mess she'd made would be clean. Two simple words.

I'm Sorry.

And that is what makes her so mean. Because even while she feels horrible and terrible and is disgusted in herself, she can't do it. She can't apologize to him, even though he's already done it to her. Even though he's apologized so many times, and even meant it for more than half of those apologies, she can't do it.

She doesn't want to.

Because admitting her cruelty, facing up to the past few months, seems almost worse than living with the guilt. Even though she knows it would feel better eventually, she can't get herself to face him.

She hasn't seen him in a week. She hasn't seen him since he realized what she truly was. But its been on purpose.

Avoiding the great hall, eating in the kitchens with only her shame to keep her company. She's skipped Transfiguration for the past week and Mr. Slughorn had let her do independent study, instead of coming to class. She's even taking to sleeping in her old dorms, ignoring the Head Rooms all together. That is how cowardly she was.

And while its her fault she hasn't seen him, it kills her a little that he hasn't found her and forced her to confront him.

She doesn't understand why he hasn't blasted down her door and demanded, in front of the entire common room, for her to beg for his forgiveness; because if the roles had been switched, she would have. Even though, had the roles been switched, she'd bet he wouldn't avoid her. He would own up to, he would say sorry.

And while he'd never done something like this, he'd been awful to her for years, and she had waved that over him for just as long. Looking back, he'd been right to tease her. She had deserved it, she knows that now.

What eats her alive though, is how fun it had been. For the beginning, she had enjoyed it. She enjoyed toying with him, enjoyed teasing him and playing with him. He surprised her constantly, his reactions were always so startling that she found it amusing to guess his responses and didn't mind being surprised when they differed.

And then, even when she knew it was going too far, she still liked it. She liked the feel of his presence, liked the warmth he brought. But she was slipping.

She knew she was slipping.

It's true; she had never planned for things to end like that. But it did.

She had tried so hard not to let it spiral out of control, to not let herself spiral out of control. But she couldn't control it, as she found out- she couldn't control a lot of things. Like reactions, thoughts, feelings…

And there is no one to blame but herself. Because yes, she'd been drunk and her mates had urged her to do it, but even if she'd been sober, she'd have agreed. That is how bitter she'd been, how hurt she had felt. But it was no excuse, because it was entirely her fault. And she was alone with the guilt. How it should be.

She can't even remember how it happened, or why it happened for that matter. She supposes that years of his boyish jokes and annoyingly persistent teases had finally pushed her to the edge. But if she was honest, and why not be honest when it has been clearly decided how much of a bitch she was, she enjoyed his attention. He was, after all, everything. Charming, popular, handsome, talented… the list went on. But most importantly, he was hers. Even when she didn't want him, even when she thought he was just acting, even when she finally knew he wasn't lying, and even now, he'd always been hers.

She doesn't know if she's his though. A part of her wants to be, but she can't belong to him. Because if the last few months have proved anything, it's that she doesn't deserve him. She probably had never deserved him, she thinks.

So it shouldn't matter if she wants him, or even if he wants her, because she'd never be able to face him again, not after everything she'd put him through.

But it would be so easy. Screw if she deserved it. She could have it. She could have it so easily. But as easy as it would be, it'll never happen. Even though she knows what she feels now, and knows what she wants. She'll never get it.

While two words would get her forgiveness, she knows that five words will be the key to ultimate happiness. That's how easy it would be. But she won't do it, even though; all she has to say is five words. All she could ever dream would be hers. Five simple words. Hell, she wouldn't even have to say sorry if she could tell him those five words.

But they were five words that she'd sworn to herself she'd never speak aloud, regardless of how many times she'd think them.

I love you, James Potter.

Because really, some part of her always had.

* * *

><p>Thank you for reading,<p>

feel free to comment.


	2. The Contract

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

A/N: Well, that was updated at an alarming speed.

Enjoy.

* * *

><p>How to Play a Player<p>

_AU: This was one game she wasn't going to loose_

_Chapter Two: The Contract_

They were drunk. It wasn't the first time they experimented with alcohol, nor with this particular brand, but it had never reached this far. An entire bottle of firewhiskey and four shots of a maroon liquor that smelt like pineapple. It tasted nothing like pineapple and burned more than the firewhiskey had. None of the girls can quite remember how they started, or who actually brought out the banned products, but at this stage they can't find it in themselves to care. Lily Evans, being the most inexperienced with alcohol and rather slim, had been the easiest and quickest one to go from tipsy to full on smashed. Her mind was fuzzy and warm and she felt so light that at any moment she could just float away.

"James Potter would piss his pants if he could see you now." Alice giggled. Alice Prewitt, regardless of being half a stone smaller than her companions, had actually kept a fairly level head and the hypocrisy of the moment was hilarious to her. Hadn't Lily, not three nights ago, yelled viciously at Sirius Black for being rather intoxicated, and a little too obnoxious, after the first Quidditch match of the year?

"If James Potter were here, with his bleeding '_marauders'_ I'd hex him into next week and shave that ridiculous overgrowth he calls hair." Lily slurred, meshing her words together slightly. Alice chuckled quietly and tried to recall exactly how much Lily had, had.

"He's not that bad of a bloke" Dorcas Meadows interceded, trying to stand up for her Quidditch captain. He was rather nice to everyone, polite and kind and bloody talented as hell, not to mention easily one of the most gorgeous men of the century.

"W-what?" Lily spluttered, trying to decide who exactly said that.

"I mean, he's really grown up since fifth year Lily… look at everything he's done. He's a decent bloke, actually he's more than decent. He's a right out catch." Dorcas pointed out, knowing she should stop. She was drunk, she knew that, and being drunk she had a tendency to say more than she should, but at the moment she felt it needed to be said.

Lily sent a glare as vicious and glacial as a snow storm.

"Or not- he's a ponce, a poofy haired nit wit with a rather small penis." Dorcas amended, laughing when she finished her insult.

"That's much better." Lily smiled and reached for the last shot on the table, drinking it down in one quick swig. She shuddered as the burn erupted in her throat.

"We should do something about him" another girl- Marlene McKinnon added. It stood to reason that after all this time, James deserved a little pay back for the pranks he pulled throughout the various years.

"Whatcha mean?" Lily asked, suddenly intrigued. Her stomach was warm and she was trying to count how many freckles there were on her arms but the sudden tone had interested her.

"We should get him back, nothing big- just a little prank." Marlene suggested, tossing a rather boring magazine to the side "Perhaps it was time to have some fun, and that's all it would be- just a little bit of fun." Marlene, like the other girls, was in no fit mind to make any sort of suggestion.

"And what do you suggest?" Dorcas asked, she stumbled a little on the way to sit down next to Marlene.

"How about we break his broomstick?" Lily suggested, grinning at the idea. Potter loved his broomstick dearly and just thinking of the look on his face when if he found out it was destroyed… that would be very satisfying indeed.

"Don't be cruel Lily!" Dorcas admonished.

"No, no… something better. Lily, why don't you date Remus? That would be a laugh!" Alice immediately regretted the suggestion. That was a little too heartless and she couldn't understand why she said it.

"What about you go out with James? Just one date, and tell him it was the worst date of your life?" Marlene ignored Alice's idea, seeing the tightening of Dorcas's lips. Her friend had a particular soft spot for the quietest marauder.

"No, absolutely not," Lily shuddered "I would never do that, besides he hasn't asked me on one since the middle of last year."

It was true. Even though it was only the third week of school he hadn't spoken to her besides on their mutual head duties and an occasional question or two on patrol.

"All the better!" Dorcas laughed, beginning to understand the idea. "Make him ask you out, say yes, and dash his hopes. It would be the perfect prank! He'd have to congratulate us on besting a Marauder!"

The idea certainly had its appeal.

"I'm not sure." And Lily wasn't. Her brain was all muddled and even though her friends were making sense and had a good point, she felt some strong urge to say no.

"It'll just be a bit of fun, Lily.." Dorcas urged.

"Yeah, only a bit of fun." Marlene interjected quickly.

"I think it would be kind of funny to see as well." And that was the clincher. If Alice believed it would be just a small bit of fun, than how exactly wrong could it be?

"Right... I'd like to get back at Potter too. I'll do it. I mean, it's only a bit of fun, right?"

The chorused their agreements and suddenly the conversation swirled into one about Alice and her new found attraction to Frank Longbottom. Eventually the topic dried out and the effects of the alcohol lulled them all to sleep.

Morning rose with the bright light of September air and a subtle warm breeze. The sun irritated Lily to no end as she rolled back and forth, trying to hid from the light for a few more precious seconds. Her head was throbbing and her mouth tasted foul and acidic. Slowly, gradually, she worked her way out of the tangle of sheets and moved toward the bathroom. After a quick scan of her appearance she gave up on attempting any form of taming her hair and decided to take a shower.

She no longer lived in the seventh year girl's dormitory and had none of her things once she got out. She re-dressed in yesterday's school uniform and snuck quietly from the room, allowing her friends the relief of sleep. She needed to be ready to meet the prefects in a little more than a quarter hour.

Lily made it back to her room in barely enough time to change and braid her now slightly dry hair. A quick pick out of the selection of candies and assorted chocolates she hoarded in times like these and she was out the door, moving at a brisk pace to arrive on time.

Potter was already there, as well as most of the prefects. She nodded an acknowledgement at him and he looked momentarily started when he saw her.

"Blimey Evans, what happened to you?" Potter asked softly when she sat next to him, in the other head's chair. He had leaned in and his voice was too loud for her hears, she cringed in momentary pain. A quick burst of anger boiled under her, embarrassed at the question. She hadn't looked that bad.

"Nothing Potter" Her voice was steel.

"Did you get drunk last night?" He squinted at her, noticing the tale tall marks of having a hangover. Dark marks under the eyes, a certain pallor to her skin, an aversion to loud noises and an even shorter temper.

"It's none of your concern." She didn't deny it. After all, she didn't owe him any explanation or had a cause to hide that from him, she didn't care what he thought of her.

"I must say, I'm impressed." Potter continued "Never thought you had it in you."

She ignored him and sighed with relief when the last prefect entered the room with an impish grin for being late. She started the meeting immediately, avoiding any thought of Potter and brought attention to the severe lack of protocol on patrol. She didn't really care, as long as they weren't allowing students to go get away with sneaking out of bed, but it needed to be discussed and it was her responsibility to do it.

After a quick lecture and some news about new curfew restrictions, James brought up a couple topics- one of which was the rivalry for the house cup. They were supposed to spur on a friendly competition and raise more school spirit. With a few ending notes and after a quick question from the sixth year Hufflepuff, asking if they could possibly switch some of the Hogsmeade days due to upcoming events, everyone was free to go.

She left before he even realized she had gone and the bewilderment was back in his mind. He silently cursed himself for caring so much, for thinking about it too much. He had been doing so good, trying not to think of her. But seeing her like that, seeing her slightly hung-over had given him so kind of strange hope. She wasn't perfect after all, maybe he could one day deserve her. The thought left his mind almost as soon as it had entered it, he would never deserve Lily Evans.

…_/…_

The Great Hall burst at the seams with chatter, erupting in a cacophonous rage of endless noise. The teachers table sat fully staffed, watching their pupils with mild joy and some with a hint of annoyance. It was only the third week into the school and already everything seemed to hum with vibrancy, one that never seemed to be able to be quelled. A group of boys, the Marauders, sat together near the entrance, in their unspoken spot. Some form of inside joke was brought up and sent the boys in similar states of laughter, gaining the attention of most Gryffindor's. It certainly gained the attention of one particular red-head. She glared at them and returned her attention back to her friends, all gathered around a piece of parchment.

"What are you doing?" Lily questioned, peering over Marlene's shoulder in attempt to see the piece of paper.

"Hold on, it's not done yet." Dorcas answered, sliding the paper ever closer to her. It was a tad ridiculous, but that was part of the fun.

"What's not done yet?" Lily asked, suddenly burning with curiosity. She hated how curious she got, how absolutely absorbed she could be in something until she found her answer.

"You'll see…" Alice taunted, correct a spelling mistake. She wasn't actually sure she liked what they were doing, but teasing Lily was always fun and she didn't mind humoring her other friends.

"Give me a hint."

"It involves last night." Marlene laughed, hoping that Lily would still have no idea of what she meant.

Lily laid the problem out in her mind, mechanically studying the facts and trying to work towards an obvious solution. Her mind led her in a wide variety of suggestions but she ultimately concluded on one particular solution that seemed to have the most possibility to be true.

"This is about James Potter, isn't it?" She sighed.

"You really should never give Lily a clue, she can solve almost anything with practically no information. There's a reason she's the top of our year, and the whole bleeding school, Marlene." Dorcas huffed, angry that it had taken Lily less than a minute to begin unraveling their plans.

"And from that response I'm going to say that it was something to do with the agreement I made concerning him, and from Alice's slight look of surprise I'm wagering that you're making a contract for me to sign."

"It's kind of freaky when you do that, you know." Dorcas pointed out, shoving the parchment towards her friend. Lily laughed a little, it wasn't humorous but she decided not to take offense.

"This is really rather detailed, isn't it." She was surprised by the amount of attention and effort which must have gone into the contract. It was compromised of three parts, sectioning off what was deemed prohibited, what could violate the agreement resulting in an automatic renegotiation of the contract and the last part was devoted entirely to loop holes.

"I had a lot of free time this morning." Marlene answered.

"She was in double potions." Alice explains.

Lily gave a slight laugh, but it caught in her throat when she realized just how thorough the contract was. They didn't really expect her to sign that, did they? It was all a joke from last night. It's not like they thought she would really go through with the agreement. It had been all just talk, something funny to discuss between tipsy friends.

"I just have one more section to finish and then it'll be ready for you to sign." Dorcas sighed "Marlene made a few mistakes in her original draft."

"Wait, I don't actually have to sign this, do I?"

"I did not just write all of that up so you could have a good laugh and then chuck it away." Marlene growled. Dorcas nodded emphatically. Her hand was cramping and she was beginning to form a callous, if that was all for nothing she would be royal pissed off.

"We were just joking last night. Do you really suppose me to go along with that?"

"Why on earth wouldn't you?"

"Because, that's a lot of work… I mean, I have to keep my grades up and I'm head girl now so I don't really have time to play pranks like that plus, it's kind of mean, isn't it?" She was grasping for reasons, throwing them at her friends in the hope that one sounded convincing. Secretly, Alice was relieved, she wasn't entirely okay with it either but didn't want to spoil their fun.

"Lily, what would you care if Potter was hurt by that?" Marlene's voice was incredulous. Lily had never given a second's thought to Potter's feelings.

"I don't care about Potter's feelings." Lily quickly amended, furious with the insinuation.

"Then what is it? It's not like we're being cruel. It's just one date Lils. You just trick him and then it'll be a laugh. It's not like he'll actually care. He'll probably just laugh and think it's the best prank someone's pulled on him." Dorcas reassured her.

But it didn't sound right. Potter seemed to be over her, he never let on that he liked her anymore and perhaps it would be fun to get back at him… but still. Playing with someone's feelings didn't seem right. It wasn't her.

"It's not like you like Potter. Or, do you?"

The question sent a raw surge of distaste to her mouth. No, of course she didn't like Potter. He was arrogant, foolish, egotistical, a big headed messy haired twat. Even if he hadn't bothered her in a while, she still had five and a half years of built up annoyance. And that was the deal breaker. She didn't care about Potter, and if it hurt him a little, what did it bother her any? She quickly reassured herself, _it wasn't even going to hurt him, it would just be a laugh. _

"Right, well, I'll do it."

Alice gave a sigh. Perhaps she was wrong. Maybe everything would turn out right, the way the put it didn't make it seem that bad. It wasn't like they were going to kill him or anything, just tease him a little. Besides, one day with one girl wasn't going to be anything damaging. And it wasn't a big deal, she rationalized, it wasn't like Lily was going to make him fall back in love with her.

"Excellent Evans!" Marlene grinned.

"But I'm not signing that bloody contract." Lily told her, picking up an apple and making a hasty escape before they could convince her otherwise.

Both Marlene and Dorcas scowled in return, glaring at the four feet of tiny scrawl. It really was a marvelous bit of work on their part.

"Let the games begin." Alice muttered, suddenly very, very nervous as she noticed James Potter's eyes following Lily as she left the Great Hall. This was going to be a little more complicated than she thought.

* * *

><p>Sorry for all the little errors. I try to find them all, but it's nearly impossible. Forgive my mistakes, for there are many.<p>

Review, if you would be so inclined.


End file.
